Written by Dennis Harvell
Self‑awareness is powerful. It takes an incredibly strong person to look in the mirror and say, “Some of my relationships didn’t work because of me.”
That isn’t self‑blame — it’s self‑ownership.
When you grow up in a house where “love” is tied to abuse, dark rooms, and being singled out for the color of your skin, your internal compass for intimacy gets damaged. You learn early that closeness can turn into danger without warning.
So you grow up expecting the blow.
You grow up waiting for the shift.
You grow up believing that love comes with a cost.
And without even realizing it, you start to sabotage the good things. Not because you don’t want them — but because ending it first feels safer than being blindsided. Making yourself “difficult” becomes a shield. Distance becomes protection. Solitude becomes control.
You stay safe by staying alone.