Written by Dennis Harvell
Finding What Brings You Joy
I am learning to enjoy my life as it is, not as some idealized version of what I think it should be. I’ve embraced the reality of getting older: the gray hair, the new wrinkles, the joints that ache a little more than they used to. There is nothing to be done about it, so I have a choice: I can fight it with dyes and “unnatural” fixes to feel relevant, or I can lean into it. I choose to lean in. But this acceptance would feel hollow if I didn’t want that same sense of peace for everyone else. I’ve found my passion, and passing that spark to others is what brings me true joy.
However, I have to be honest: there are moments when I feel down. My circle has grown smaller. Much of the family I have left are like “drive-bys”—people dealing with their own issues who don’t want to change, but desperately want to keep you in that “group of miserables.” When you refuse to get caught up in their history, they make you feel like an outcast.
I often write about my personal grief because the people I miss most are the ones who uplifted me. Today, I feel surrounded by people who want to pull me down rather than lift me up. These are the people I realize I can no longer lean on. Because of that, I have gently walked away. I’ve had to protect my spirit by pretending certain influences no longer exist, because I’ve seen their intentions clearly.
The world feels heavy with negativity right now. I see so many people taking the bait of depression and staying there. I’ve been there, and I’ve done that—I refuse to go back. This is why I avoid the “wasteland” of social media. My feeds became a cycle of people shouting their negativity into a void rather than seeking a way forward. It’s a shame to see people choose to dwell in their situations, hitting rock bottom and realizing too late that no one can lift them up but themselves. It’s easy to type vitriol from behind a screen for “likes,” but what does that actually achieve?
No matter how difficult the obstacles, I am taking the high road. I will find the goodness within the “awful” and make the best of it. While I have found peace, those around me seem content to stay stifled. I want to remain in their lives, but I refuse to be made miserable.
The place I am in now—writing and sharing these experiences—is where I find my happiness. Life should be fun, regardless of the chaos around us. I’m not here to preach or offer unsolicited advice; I’m just sharing my lived experiences and stories in the hope that they resonate. If my words reach even one person, it’s worth it. I’m going to keep creating things that are educational, thought-provoking, and fun. I want everyone to embark on this journey with me.
That is my joy.